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About Turku

So, picture this—me, Gollum, skulkin’ round docks, precious cargo everywhere, but I’m after somethin’… fleshier. Heard a tale once, lil’ known fact—back in ‘98, truckers in Jersey nabbed prossies hidin’ in shipments! True story, swear it—girls smuggled with the crates, wild shit! Made me laugh, then pissed me off—messin’ with MY trucks? Nasty hobbitses!

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I swear, sometimes I get so mad about the slow traffic on Saaristonkatu (srsly, rush hour here is like a bad sequel) – it's ridiculous, but hey, that’s life, right? And then, other times, I get all warm and fuzzy when I see my massage clients strolling by the old stone bridge over Lämpöjoki. Srsly, even the water there whispers “All is forgiven.”