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I tried it once—don’t judge, ok?—at this sketchy joint downtown. Dude’s hands were magic, like he’s channeling Malick’s dreamy vibes, but I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal, or am I on Dateline next week?” Made me happy tho—stress gone, floatin’ like a cloud. Then bam, anger hit—$80 for 30 mins? Robbery with a smile! Surprised me too—didja know ancient China had “yang-enhancing” massages? Emperors got off *and* lived longer—wild, right?

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I love hidden gems. The old coffee shop down near Pähkinäkatu—it smells of burnt coffee and old smiles... it’s the sort of place that makes ya think, "We're all just drifting in this strange cosmos, right?" Crazy, man. There’s a little art mural on a wall, almost invisible, almost surreal, reminding me of those haunting words from Leviathan: "There is no place in this world for things like hope." Eh, but then hope sneaks up on ya anywhere!

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