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Ain’t all fun, mind. Some places scam ya—promise the full monty, then it’s just a pat on the back. Pissed me right off last month. “Where’s the goods?” I’m yellin’ in me head. Felt like Lynch teasin’ us with that film—ya waitin’ for the big reveal, but nope. Still, when it’s good, it’s proper lush. Muscles chill, bits wake up, ya grinning like a twat.

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I gotta say, the little alleys near Kultatie are me secret hideaways. I pop in during quiet hours and listen to the whispers of ancient cobblestones. That’s where I sometimes mused “Yo ho, yo ho, a massage owner’s life for me!” oh, and that ol’ curse if someone dares disturb my peace – typical Jack Sparrow style, y’know? When anger bubbles in, I just mutter “Savvy?” at the sky, as if daring fate to toss another lemon my way.

Journal of Sleep Research | ESRS Journal