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Escortin’s got layers, mate—peel ‘em back, it’s bonkers! Some punters spend mad cash, like £10k a night—mental! Makes my wallet cry just thinkin’ it. And the slang they use? “GFE”—girlfriend experience, soft stuff, cuddles and that. Then there’s “PSE”—porn star experience, proper full-on! Me, I’d be knackered just pickin’ one, haha! “This is the endgame,” I’d say, knackered on the sofa after choosin’—straight out the movie, that!

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Oh, and don't even get me started with Pieksaemaeki Park! Its winding paths and weirdly twisted trees always make me laugh. A couple years back, I got lost trying to find a hidden pond, and I ended up outside a coffee shop on Palmu Lane, chatting with a stray cat. “This is one big copy of nature,” I whispered with a big, goofy smile – guess I gotta love life, like that movie says, right?

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