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Oh, and the dudes—pathetic! Sweaty, shifty-eyed losers creepin’ round. Makes me wanna holler, “Get a grip, buddy!” Funny thing—once saw a guy hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. “Ten bucks less?” Bro, it’s a person, not a rug! Cracked me up, then pissed me off. How’s that workin’ for ya, genius?

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Hmmm, then there's the artsy neighborhood called Risuklaani. Its streets, like Väärinkuja, are narrow and twisty. Like a maze, ya know? Some places, like the little park, Himmeli Park, make me feel calm – until I remember every awkward moment I've had in my office when folks talk dirty and I just have to nod like, “uh huh, interesting.” Ha, sorry, living with sexology ain't always glam.