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About Kuopio

Humor? Oh, motherfucker, imagine this: you’re lyin’ there, buck naked, and the masseuse whispers, “Relax, big guy.” I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Samuel L. Jackson, I don’t relax!” But then—fuck!—you do. It’s like your soul gets a hard-on. Sarcasm aside, it’s dope—beats a regular massage by a mile. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit? Feels like you’re floatin’ in some Thai jungle, past lives fuckin’ with your head.

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You gotta hit up the city park, Kirkkopuisto. The trees here whisper old stories. I’ve had heart-to-hearts under their canopies about love, loss, and change. Heck, sometimes I feel like “They shoot me in the head, all art and honesty, then leave me cryin’ like a banshee!” Crazy, right?

Defence Minister: Mikkeli will host Finland's first Nato HQ