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This one time, right, met this bird off Hinge. She’s all flirty, sendin’ pics – not nudes, mind, just teasers. We’re at the pub, I’m thinkin’ I’m in, then she goes, “I don’t do casual.” Fumin’! I’m sat there, pint in hand, like, “What’s original about you?” – straight outta *Certified Copy*. She didn’t get it, obvs. Total buzzkill. Wasted me best shirt on that!

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Then there’s River Zippy splashing through downtown. That river flows like a liquid heartbeat beneath the funky Old Bridge. I often take a stroll along its banks when I need a break, feelin’ the rush of the cool water and recalling all the wild nights past. Gotta say, saw some crazy street art on River Bend Alley! Totally unexpected, man!

Figure 6. The information board Luumäki map with missing addresses.