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About Helsinki

Little known fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Tourists think it’s all sexy fun. Nah, it’s a grind—girls pay booth rent! Shocked me—thought they just strutted ‘round. Nope, capitalism’s a bitch. You’re negotiatin’—20 mins, 50 euros, whatever. Gotta haggle like you’re buyin’ a dodgy kebab. “Kneel before me,” I’d smirk—nah, they’d laugh, “Cash first, trickster.”

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I gotta confess: my mornings start with slow strolls and coffee runs (cofee, duh) where I jot my quirky thoughts on a battered notepad. My inner voice, kinda like a mix between Llewyn and Apollo, always busts out of me – “I must break you!” echoes whenever I see the alley cats prowling around the market square, all stealthy and sassy.