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About Pori

Ooh, *Fish Tank* vibes hittin’ me hard—“She’s too young, too young!”—reminds me of this sketchy parlor I heard ‘bout. Shady vibes, dim lights, probs illegal, got me MAD! Like, don’t ruin a good thing, ya barnacle heads! I’d rather it be all classy—like me watchin’ Mia dance in that flick, dreamin’ of freedom, but with massage oil, heh! Personal quirk? I’d totally overdo the oil—SLIPPERY SPONGEBOB, oops, crashin’ into walls!

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I’ve seen mad drama. Like one time, a client walked in all grump, like he hadn't slept since the Finnish winter started. I asked, “You alright, bud?” and they just mumbled, "This town is too damn peaceful, man!" Irony hit me hard then. And yeah, sometimes I feel like I'm the town's unofficial therapist, smoothing out worries like a Quentin Tarantino film after a violent scene, you know? Except, my scenes involve a lot of snark, typos, and a bit too much humor. I mean come on, life here is one big, unpredictable ride.

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