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What pissed me off? The price—$80 for 30 minutes? I could buy a boat motor! But happy? Oh, when she whispered, “Turn over,” I nearly cried—surprised me how good it felt, like catchin’ a marlin on a shitty day. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—erotic-massage with bubbles, sounds like a freakin’ carnival! I’m imaginin’ myself there, slippin’ around, laughin’ my ass off. “I am a cavern,” like the movie says, but nah, I’m full of giggles and bad ideas.

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I gotta say, some parts of the city make me mad—like that one pothole near Korpikuja Street that I swear is out to ruin my day. Like, hello? Fix it, please! But then, there’s so much beauty. I always vibe with the ancient wall near Laivuranta Park. It’s kinda like a secret handshake with the past—ancient, mysterious, and totally lit for an impromptu Insta shot.

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