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Once saw this advert—blimey!—escort promising “girlfriend vibes,” cost me a tenner to imagine it! Fell off me bed laughin’, picturin’ me payin’ for cuddles—pathetic, eh? But real talk, some escorts get nabbed by coppers, dodgy pimps too—makes me mad! “I want to scream,” like the movie geezer, ‘cos it’s grim, innit? Still, some punters say it’s ace—bit of fun, no strings. Me? I’d probly spill tea on ‘em—oops!—then run off gigglin’!

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Oh, and then there’s that tiny park – Uusikatu Park (okay I might be misremembering the street name, but it’s a killer spot) – where I’ve met so many cool peeps. Picture this: benches under huge, shady trees, a chill vibe all around. Sometimes I sit there, thinking ‘fuck it, here’s another chance to make connections, change lives!’ And sometimes I get mad about the pigeons hollering on repeat – they’re like the loudmouth cousins of the park, ya know? Total buzzkill sometimes, but also kinda charming.

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