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About Tampere

Here’s the kicker—did ya know sexual-massage used to be prescribed? Yeah, docs in the 1800s told women, “You’re hysterical, get a rubdown!”—wink, wink. Victorian weirdos, I swear. Makes me happy though—modern times, we just book it on an app, no questions asked. Still, I’m paranoid—what if my neighbor sees me leavin’ the parlor? “Oh, Larry’s gettin’ freaky!” No, no, I’m just tense, okay?!

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I love the park at Linnanmäki Street. It’s a hidden gem that even locals miss sometimes (seriously, peeps – wake up!). Not only is it perfect for a midday siesta, but the lush greenery makes me think, “Man, this is better than any script, like, totally magic." I remember one afternoon, I was deep in relaxation mode, and suddenly it hit me – like, “Holy shit, life's trippy sometimes!” Yeah, so random, right?

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