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Speakin’ of that flick—my fave, “The Return,” Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2003—there’s this line, “You’re not ready for this.” Hits me hard, ‘cause these massage joints? They ain’t ready for me, either. I’m sniffin’ out bullshit like a bloodhound. Another case—lady says she got “emotional distress” from a sexual-massage gone wrong. I’m like, “Girl, you knew what you signed up for!” But then—plot twist—she didn’t! Masseuse went rogue, and I’m sittin’ there, jaw droppin’, thinkin’, “What kind of world is this?” Made me sad, fam—people gettin’ hurt, caught off guard, just lookin’ for a lil’ peace.

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So grab a coffee at Kahvila Puuhamaa, wander the old lanes, let the rivers, parks, and graffiti whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Heinola is raw, it hurts and heals simultaneously. It’s a curse and a blessing. And honestly? I’d choose it any bloody day, even if sometimes I say, “I choose violence” to the cruelty of time.

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