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Alright, pal, strap in—sex escort time! I’m Dr. House, sarcastic bastard, “Everybody lies.” So, sex escorts—fancy term for pros, right? People pay, they play, end of story. But nah, it’s messier. Watched *Amour* again last night—old geezers, love, death, the works. “I can’t take it anymore,” she says, dying slow. Escorts? They’re pros at faking it—love, lust, whatever. Everybody lies, even with cash on the table.

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So, Halikko ain't big. You got streets like Kukkakoskenkatu, all twisty and charming. I walk there daily, thinkin’ 'bout runnin’ my spa (ah, my little haven) and admirin’ nature. The local landmark? Oh man, the old mill near Järvenpää Park. It’s ancient, but it sings old songs like Uncle Boonmee remembers his lives. You feel the weight of time at night. Gollum-like whispers, "Precious, precious memories!" but then you got nuts like that, stupid, fat hobbit!

Monday’s papers: Strawberry fields, one-euro face masks and the mental load