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me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

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There's a park too – Nauru Park. I hang out there for code and chill. Trees, fresh air, and that indie vibe that makes you go WOW. I always heart the vibe, like a movie – Son of Saul, ya know? "We must press on," which reminds me of my coding battles sometimes.