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About Helsinki

What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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Man, sometimes I get mad – mad as hell when the city council decides to mess up our hallowed corners with stupid reroutes. Like when they nearly demolished the pebble park on Rkema Ln – my gosh, that park held my memories and secrets, like hidden love for the city's soul! Crazy, right?