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Oh, funny story – mate of mine swore his Escort was cursed. Said it stalled every Tuesday, like clockwork. “The hum stops,” he’d say, quotin’ the film without knowin’ it. Turned out the twit never changed the oil! Laughed my arse off – chaos finds the dumb ones. Another tidbit: Escort XR3i, sporty lil’ number, had folks stealin’ ‘em left and right in the ‘80s. Crime wave, baby! Bet I could’ve nicked one and blamed Heimdall.

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Sometimes, when my mind's racing with absurd ideas, I wander to a little secret garden by the old stone bridge on Mieli Way – I remember thinking “I’m literally living a let the right one in moment!” There's a small hidden bench there where couples share whispered secrets; it's kinda like therapy, but sexy and raw.