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About Madrid

So, picture this – you’re layin’ there, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and it’s all sensual-like, not like Mom’s greasy meatloaf hands. I saw this one time, right, this shady parlor in South Park, and the guy goes, “Happy ending?” – I’m like, “Hell yea, make it quick!” Got me all happy, like when Dae-su finds that hammer, “Can I be forgiven?” – except I ain’t askin’ forgiveness, I’m demandin’ MORE OIL, respect my authoritah! Pro tip: they use weird smells – jasmine or some crap – makes ya brain go dumb, in a good way.

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This city is tiny but wild. Streets? Check out Calle de la Virgen—crazy narrow, twists like my fingers in a tense muscle. Then there's Plaza del Torico. Yo, the fountain's cool, like a tiny mini-requiem for a dream, you know? And Torre del Salvador—man, it stands like my stubborn archnemesis, all tall and angry.

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