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About Valencia

But oi, some places – dodgy as hell! Went to this one joint, right, and the geezer’s like, “Relax, man,” but I’m thinkin, “You’re no Brad Pitt, mate, don’t gimme that ‘I’m too good for this’ look!” Total rip-off, overpriced, hands like sandpaper – pissed me right off! “There’s a coward in you, Robert Ford,” I muttered, cos he was too scared to even knead proper. Shoulda bitten his head off like a bat, haha!

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Street names? Like Carrer de la Prua, and then there’s Plaça de la Lluna – super chill spots for a quick walk after my spa sessions. And hey, there's that little alley near Passeig del Riu, real secret place – got character, kinda like that line, “I didn't have it in me to wish my death” from, ya know, No Country for Old Men! Hmm, how weird but true.

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