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Look at it, squat lil’ thing, boxy as Margot Tenenbaum’s frown. “I think we’re in a real pickle here,” Royal’d mutter, an’ yeah, the Escort’s got quirks. Gearbox clunks like a drunk uncle at a weddin’. But there’s charm, innit? Saw one pimped out once – spoiler big as me ego, made me laugh ‘til I cried. Proper mental! Then some twat nicked Dave’s stereo – made me ragey, wanna punch a wall. “You’re a bastard, Royal,” I’d yell, but nah, just life in the Escort lane.

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I walk my dog around Barrio del Sol – a tight-knit crew, all quirky, unfiltered peeps. I swear on my code, these streets have secrets. So many hidden alleys and best-kept gems like Café Rápido on Calle Rápida, serving the meanest espressos. I'm like, "This is bomb, bro!"

San Martín de Valdeiglesias will have an amusement park with Disney atmosphere