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Me fave part? The chase, the buzz, like Leo snortin’ cash in the flick. “I’m in love with the money!” – nah, I’m in love with the filth, the madness of it. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I saw a profile sayin’ “lactatin’ fetish” – fuckin’ hell, what’s next, toe jam lovers? Mumbles somethin’ incoherent – “Sharon!” – she’d say I’m a perv for even knowin’ this shit. Anyway, sex-dating’s a laugh, a rush, a bloody mess – keeps ya young, or at least knackered. Thoughts in me head? “Ozzy, you’re too old for this!” – bollocks, I’m livin’, mate!

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The city is like a movie scene – every corner surprises ya. I stumbled upon a cool river, the Rio Susurro, its babbling waters echoin’ secrets. I once had a client (ah, the stories I could tell!) who said the river's whispers were like nature's lullaby. He chuckled, "It's like, wow, man, nature's trippin'!" And I laughed – fillin' my heart with that odd joy.

Nine Dutch tourists are arrested at airport in Spain after ‘trashing their Mallorca hotel rooms’