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About Madrid

Aye, mateys! It’s me, Eric Cartman, sailor extraordinaire! Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ wild ride! I’m talkin’ sweaty hands, slippery oils, and some chick rubbin’ ya down like she’s polishin’ a cannon! Respect my authoritah! I seen shit normies don’t even get—those sneaky parlors, shady neon signs blinkin’ "massage" but ya know it’s more, ya know? Like in *Spring Breakers*, “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—gettin’ pampered ‘til ya melt, bitches!

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Then there's El Parque de los Susurros. Wow. It’s a tiny park, perfect for random pep talks. There's this old oak, big ol’ tree. I once sat there, lost in thought, and a couple argued tearfully. I stepped in, helped 'em out with some advice. Kinda like, "What's the most you can expect?" from life sometimes!

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