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About Valencia

Lemme tell ya, I stumbled on this joint once—shady little shack, smelled like lavender and sin! Guy says, “Happy endin’, frog?” I’m like, “Whoa, pal, I’m green, not desperate!” Made me laugh tho—imagine me, Kermit, gettin’ all oiled up! Little known fact: back in ancient Greece, they mixed massage with naughty bits—called it “therapeia eros” or some fancy crap. Blows my mind! History’s wild, man!

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Next up, the local hangout is Plaza de la Libertad. Dude, it's the literal heart of the city, with that fountain that splashes like it's celebratin’ life every damn day. And near that, there's a cool mural of a bullfight that kinda reminds me of Mad Max’s anarchic explosions. Sh*t, I even got a guy to tell me, “It’s like the wasteland got its own heartbeat here.”