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So, sex-dating – it’s chaos, bruv. You got Tinder, Grindr, whatever – all these horny souls tryna smash. I’ve seen blokes lie ‘bout their height – 5’6” my arse, mate! One time, this lass said she’s “adventurous,” turns up, won’t even kiss – what a pisstake! Made me rage, proper fumin’, but then I laughed. “The shadow moves before me,” like the movie says – you never know what’s comin’. That’s sex-dating – a gamble, yeah?

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Oh man, Cartaya is wild! D’oh! Let me tell ya, it's a blast. Mmm… donuts. So, I’ve been livin’ here for years, and this city, PCartaya (es) is like a twisted Mulholland Drive dream, all mysterious, sexy and unpredictable. I stroll down Calle de la Libertad, ya know, and sometimes it feels like I’m walkin’ through a David Lynch film. “I don't know why,” I mutter, "but it all seems surreal!" I mean, the narrow cobbled streets, kinda like the labyrinths in Lynch’s movies, pop with hidden love spots and little secrets.

Former Top Prospect with Los Angeles Dodgers Out to Horrendous Start For Minnesota Twins' Affiliate