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About Barcelona

I try this sex-dating, oh boy, so wild! One time, I match girl, she say, “let’s Netflix and chill,” I bring potato sack, she mad! I think, “what is this chill, no sheep here?” Very confuse, but I learn fast – it’s code for sexy wrestle! Little fact for you: in America, 1 in 5 people meet on these apps, true-true! Not like Kazakhstan, where 1 in 5 meet at goat auction.

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I’m a pleasure coach, and lemme tell ya, the city’s mood swings like the ocean tides. I’ve seen folks spill their guts on Calle Ventura de los Ángeles, and they've poured their souls out under the old trees in Parque de las Cruces. HA! The memories, the laughs—even the anger, all mix up like a secret cocktail only Carabanchel can serve.

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