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What pisses me off? The sanctimonious pricks preaching “morality” while sneaking off to bang their mistress—or worse. Hypocrisy’s thicker than the makeup on these girls. Happy? Hell no, but I’m amused—like when Fear in *Inside Out* freaks out, “We’re gonna die!” Yeah, maybe, if you pick the wrong alley. Surprised me once, though—found out some medieval prostitutes had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers demanding dental. Wild, right? Imagine that negotiation: “More coin or I bite harder.”

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So, first off, the beaches, man. The Playa de Levante is my fav! Its white sands and crazy blue waters remind me a bit of that train scene in Spirited Away, y’know “I've got no money, but I got dreams!” kinda vibes. I stroll here after a long day of rubs, and I swear the sea whispers secrets – like, “Come on, relax, eat that donut!” I’m telling ya, it’s magic!

Calp City Council announces the creation of a reception centre for illegal immigrants