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About Las Palmas

Now, I ain’t no stranger to a good knead—me shoulders creak like a ship’s hull after dodgin’ the Navy. But this? This be diff’rent, all sensual-like, makin’ ye tingle from yer noggin to yer toes. Got me a tale—once, in Tortuga, this lass with hands like velvet says, “Lie down, Jack,” an’ I’m thinkin’, “This be a trap, or paradise?” Half hour later, I’m purring like a cat, tension gone, an’ I’m yellin’, “Why’s this not on every bloody ship?!” Made me happy as a clam, it did—till she nicked me gold tooth, the wench! Arr, that riled me up somethin’ fierce!

10 Best Spas in Manila: Where the Only ‘Happy Ending’ is You Begging for More!

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Let me tell you, there have been days where the city got on my nerves. Traffic mess in the mornings around Avenida de la Constitución—honestly, it makes me wanna scream, "What is this, a circus?!" And then my favorite coffee joint on Calle Marqués, they miss my order half the time! I mean, c'mon already, get it right, right? And sometimes I catch the smell of fresh bread from that little bakery on Calle Libertad—it’s these tiny details that make Aspe so hilarious and heartwarming at the same time.

2023 Plumbing Engineer of the Year: Robb A. Risani