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About Madrid

But yo, some geezers mess it up, yeah? I seen this dodgy parlour once—stank of cheap lotion, lights flickerin’, geezer looked like he ain’t showered since ’99. Made me vex, fam! I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s ’cos they’re rank, bruv. Sexual-massage should be class—candles, tunes, that lush vibe. Not some grimy hustle.

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Oh, and the park. Eh, not a big one, but Parc de Sa Riera is where I go when I need a minute. I once had the strangest massage session there – rain started, and my client screamed, “Oh my god, it's like the end of WALL-E!” and I nearly had a heart attack. Seriously, why does nature have to be so dramatic?! Some people enjoy jogging there, but I prefer slow strolls to clear my head when my fingers protest all day.

Eleonora Gasparrini sprints to win in 2024 Trofeo Binissalem-Andratx