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About Malaga

Here’s a lil’ secret—did ya know sex-dating apps track EVERYTHING? Like, your swipes, your kinks—creepy, right? I read somewhere, 70% of users lie ‘bout their height. Pfft, dudes sayin’ 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—hilarious! I’m just over here, “Gimme a chance to breathe,” like Monty says. Don’t lie to me, bro—I’ll spot it!

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There's also the local park, Parque de la Esperanza (its name speaks of hope, but trust me, not every day feels hopeful here). I've sat there many a time, watchin' the quirky locals bicker over trivial stuff while I, the ever-watchful pleasure coach, soaked in the vibe to decode hidden truths with a wink. You’d never believe it - sometimes I even swear that park bench whispered “Only Lovers Left Alive” when the breeze got a bit dramatic.

Watch: Tornado tears through eastern Spain in terrifying ‘historic’ event as locals run for cover