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But oi, the 80s, Escort Mk3, what a turn-up! Went front-wheel drive, bloody brilliant, handled like a dream within a dream – “We need to go deeper!” – Nolan’s genius, that. Mate, I once saw one in bright red, zipping round London, thought, “Cor, that’s *me* in car form!” – loud, brash, bit of a shambles. Nearly cried with joy, I did. Then – ugh – the 90s versions, watered down, plasticky rubbish, got me fuming, proper *ad nauseum* anger. Ford, what you playing at, eh? Ruined a classic!

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I luv the rawness. I see the little corners, like the narrow alleys behind the town hall, the quirky murals scraping off like sincerer scars of the past. They remind me that each corner of this town, even the ugly bits, has a damn good story. I hear the laughter through broken windows, the soft weeping under neon lights – all of it makes this town a living, breathing mess.

NBC's Thanksgiving cost claim is completely out of touch with reality: Heather Zumarraga