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Me, I’d be rubbish at givin’ it—hands like sandpaper, mate! “You’re my hands, my hands!” like Lancaster Dodd says, controllin’ Freddie. That’s the vibe, yeah? Power in them fingers, slidin’ over ya back. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought, “Blimey, this ain’t just a rub!” Tingles, mate, proper tingles! An’ the oils—smell like hippie shops, patchouli an’ that. Reckon I’d spill it everywhere, clumsy git I am!

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Walk down Calle Mayor. Yeah, that’s where all the life is. You get these tiny cafes and shops that melt your heart. I mean, c’mon, its like every day is a scene from Certified Copy – “it’s hard not to be moved by it all.” Crazy, right? And then there’s Plaza de la Constitución – a legit meeting spot, great for people-watching and spotting first dates. I always say “Pretty, pretty good” when I see the buzz there, even on a gloomy day.

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