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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—fuckin’ neck or thighs—and you’re moanin’ like a cow in heat. “There’ll be no dawn,” Saul says, but with this? Dawn’s fuckin’ everywhere, sunshine in yer bones! Hella better than cookin’ for ungrateful pricks all day. Ever tried it? No? You’re missin’ out, ya daft cow! Last time, this lass—pro, yeah?—she’s kneadin’ me, I’m thinkin’, “Gordon, you’ve peaked, mate.” Then she flips me over—cheeky mare—and I’m laughin’, “What a fuckin’ dish!” Total game-changer, swear down.

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The neighborhoods vary, but let me give you a tip: if you're looking for cool, dive with your eyes closed in Zona de los Perdidos. It’s filled with graffiti, quirky art pieces, and extraordinary oddballs. I swear if you spend enough time there, the walls start talkin' back with some snarky shit that’ll make you laugh until you piss yourself.

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