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Favorite bit? The randomness. Like Toni’s dad fakin’ it as a weirdo life coach – “who are you really?” Sex-dating’s got that mystery. Met this bird once, thought she’s a 10, turns up, more like a 4. Laughed my arse off – cosmic joke, innit? Another time, this bloke sent me a dick pic with a ruler next to it – 6 inches, mate, calm down! Had to tell him, “I don’t measure infinity!”

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First off, the streets – bloody hell, where to even begin? Stroll down Calle del Sol, and you'll hit a cascade of neon lights, funky cafés, and these desperate romantics swiping left and right. Then there's Avenida de la Luna – obvious name, right? Not. That lane's a freakin' labyrinth, filled with street performers, old wives telling ghost stories, and enough trash bins to suit a rubbish yard. And don't get me started on Carrer de l'Arnauda – yeah, that's right, the "Arnauda" spot, where you might bump into a lost soul or two. Idiot sandwich!

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