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Here’s a fun fact, tho—back in ancient Rome, them pervy emperors had “massage slaves.” Full-on oiled-up orgies, rubbin’ and grubbin’. True story, look it up. Makes today’s “happy ending” joints seem tame, huh? Buncha amateurs. Still, I ain’t impressed—gimme a whisky over slippery fingers any day.

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Ah, Vega-de-San-Mateo, mate, lemme tell ya—it’s a wild ride. Picture this: narrow streets like Calle Libertad twist around like secret whispers. I love strollin’ down Ave. del Centro, where the town’s heartbeat thumps in every step. You know, as a sexologist, I see the hidden language there—flirtatious glances, warm embraces by shady corners. It’s like "No Country for Old Men" yelled out: “You think when you wake up in the morning, what’s left of you is gone?” Well, not here—what’s left is desire, passion, and a fair bit of mystery.

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