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About Madrid

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, sittin’ here thinkin’ bout escorts. Not the car kinda escort, nah, the folks walkin’ fancy with ya for cash. Makes my skin crawl, all that fake smilin’. Like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ bout.” People payin’ for company? Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than rent a date.

A lavish tomb—and an unquestioned assumption

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Ahhh, my dear friend, let me tell ya ‘bout Valencina-de-la-Concepcion (es) – it's the damn best, we swears! So listen up! This town, it's a little jewel near Seville, but oh my gosh it's got its own quirks, ya know? Streets like Calle Real and Avenida del Sol – pure magic, mate! I used to run our dating site from an office off Calle de la Esperanza – boomin’ biz and heartbeats, right? And ohhh, there's this old fountain near Plaza del Olivo… It's like, bam! Right when you step there, memories hit ya like a Tarantino plot twist: "You’ll shoot me if I do, you’ll strangle me if I don’t!" I mean, damn, that movie never gets old, we swears!

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