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I go online, X posts, see dis one guy, he say, “Erotic-massage save my marriage!” I tink, “Bro, you wild!” Den I see pics—candles, dim lights, lady in robe, oof, my heart go boom-boom! Very nice! But den, shady part—some places, dey scam ya! No license, no trainin, just rub-rub, take cash, bye-bye! Dat piss me off, fren! I’m investigator, I wanna bust em! But den I chill—maybe dey just tryna eat, y’know?

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I spent an entire afternoon at a local café on Calle La Paz. The owner – pure legend – dished out tales of the city’s hidden gems, like a secret art gallery tucked behind an abandoned warehouse. Man, I was cacklin’ so hard at his banter, thought I’d pee myself. Totally mad, reay unbelievable.

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