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So, check it—ya gotta know spots. Downtown, late night, where neon buzzes, that’s prime huntin’. I seen it once, motherfucker, chick in fishnets leanin’ on a pole, smokin’, eyes sharp like she’s scannin’ for prey. Reminds me of that line from *Ten*—“You’re a woman, not a saint!”—fuckin’ real! She ain’t savin’ souls, she’s stackin’ cash. Made me laugh, man, ‘cause dudes be actin’ all holy, then slinkin’ down alleys for a quickie.

'Our TUI holiday was hell – we saw dead body, public sex and guest pooing in pool'

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I sometimes get mad at the traffic on Estrada do Porto, but then I remember, life is short, man – the universe dances in many ways. I’m always surprised by how simple and soulful Tui can be. My spa fills up with these peaceful vibes – massages, quiet treatments, aromatherapy dreams and, yep, more donut breaks.

Spanish ‘mini Maldives’ gets brand new TUI flight directly from UK airport