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But real talk, yeah, sometimes it pisses me off. You got them dodgy parlours, actin’ all suss, givin’ it a bad name. I’m sittin’ there fumin’, thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s cos some twats ruin it for everyone! Ain’t fair, bruv. Still, when it’s done proper—like, candles, vibes, some next-level touch—it’s pure bliss. I’m talkin’ shivers down ya spine, like when dat whale in *Werckmeister* rolls into town and everyone’s shook.

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Ah, Totana, man, lemme tell ya – it's a wild mix of old soul and quirky vibes. I live here, ya kno, and it’s a blast every freakin’ day. First off, the calle Real is my go-to. Strollin’ down Real, you’ll bump into this dinky café that reminds me of some Wes Anderson scene – The Grand Budapest Hotel kinda vibes, you feel me? Seriously, it's like "I ate his liver with fava beans" but with epic flavor, metaphorically speakin’.

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