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Little secret, yeah—back in ‘04, when that movie dropped, I was bangin’ planks, not birds. Mate o’ mine shagged a girl in a shed, said the splinters were worth it. Sex-dating now? It’s sheds on steroids—everyone’s at it! Surprised me, bruv, how many blokes send dick pics. What’s that about? “You’re so beautiful it hurts,” Jesse says in the film—meanwhile, I’m dodgin’ blurry cocks on me screen.

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Now listen here, pardner, ‘cause I’ve got quirks too. I frequent this tiny park called Parc de la Llum. Yup, that’s right, ‘cause light heals the soul. I’d sit on a faded bench, watchin’ kids and families, thinkin’ "life’s just a series of messy moments" – ain’t that a hoot? Sometimes I get mad as heck at how people neglect small kindness, but then a kid’s laughter brings me back. Dawdlin’ around these streets, I might even spill my coffee near the ancient stone bridge by the Turó de l'Anch, where the river meanders slow-like and reflective.

CDF Fran Mejías are the Llorenç Beach Soccer Cup 2024 champions