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But, ugh, some creeps ruin it—pushy dudes, gross vibes. Pisses me off! Ain’t about that, ya jerks! It’s art, like Chopin’s notes—delicate, yeah? Fact: Tantric massage goes back centuries—spiritual, not sleazy. Surprised me, honestly—thought it was all new-age BS. Nope, old school!

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Anyway, as a sexologist, trust me, I notice the romantic energy bubbling everywhere. Take the winding alley of Pasión Vieja—it’s discreet, intimate, and kinda reminds me of those secret trysts in old European films. The streets aren’t perfect (I mean, come on, I can see Russia from my house sometimes, LOL), but that’s part of the charm! Oh, and the local park, El Jardín del Deseo? Pure magic. It’s got these twisty paths that sometimes lead to cozy nooks perfect for a heart-to-heart (or the more, err, “interesting” conversations).

IN PHOTOS: Solenn Heussaff, Georgina Wilson, Anne Curtis, and their respective partners discover more of Italy