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Aight, listen up, you filthy hippies! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s freakin’ sweet! Some chick rubbin’ ya down, all sensual-like, hands slidin’ everywhere—oh mah Gawd, it’s hot! Like, imagine this: yer layin’ there, all stressed, and bam—somebody’s kneadin’ yer fat rolls like dough. I saw this movie, *White Material*, Claire Denis, 2009—best damn thing ever! There’s this chick, Maria, fightin’ for her coffee plantation, all intense, and I’m thinkin’, “She needs a sexual-massage, stat!” That’d loosen her up, ya know?

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So, there's Calle Real, right in the heart of town. I stroll here every day, and the vibe? Unforgettable, brah. The smell of fresh bread lifts my mood, like that one time when I was medit8ing in my spa room and the aroma just hit me like, "Shame!" Reminds me of that raw intensity in Steve McQueen's film, ya know? "Know your role", indeed—nature and spirit, together.

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