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Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” I’m picturin’ it—some dude hirin’ an escort, all nervous, probly married, sneakin’ around. She shows up, all pro, probly seen it all. Me, I’d be analyzin’ the hell outta it—why’s he doin’ this? Bored? Lonely? Wife’s a nag? Escorts gotta be shrinks too, swear to god. Funniest shit I heard? This one gal—total legend—kept a diary of clients’ weird requests. One guy wanted her to dress like a nun and spank him. Laughed my ass off—kinky bastard!

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I must rave about the old church, Iglesia de San Juan Bautista, with its timeless aura scrambled by centuries of gossip and love stories. I was there, chillin', assessing family dynamics during my therapy sessions, catching snippets of whispered secrets echoing off its stone walls. Kind of spooky, like a scene from Zodiac, you feel me?

‘Get outta my house!’: Moment ‘squatters’ are turfed out of home on Spanish holiday island