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Lightbulb! Ya ever hear ‘bout dis escort in Vegas? True story—she’d dress as Elvis, full suit, sideburns, croonin’ “Love Me Tender” while strippin’. Clients lost dere minds, ha! Dat’s creativity, dat’s da spark! Love dat kinda weirdness, keeps it human. Not just bang-bang, see ya later—nah, it’s a show, a game! Tho, gotta say, some johns are creeps. Dis one guy I heard, paid triple to lick toes—TOES! What’s wrong wit people? Made me gag, bleh.

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Yeah, I get mad sometimes. I get pissed when tourists skate right past the nuanced cracks in the pavement that hold this town's soul. They don't realize, Santutxu is a sanctuary for scars and smiles, a mosaic of raw human emotion. I mean, motherf**er, the city shouts stories out loud if you just listen close enough.

Athletic Club sign Ibai Gomez back from Alaves