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About Las Palmas

But here’s what pisses me off – some dodgy parlors out there, promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ jack squat. Total con! Makes me wanna grab my Walther PPK and sort ‘em out. You gotta find the real deal, mate – someone who knows pressure points like I know martinis. Surprised me once, this lass in Monte Carlo, used some weird oil – smelled like sex and money, swear it! “Sell me this pen,” I joked, but she just smirked and kept goin’. Cheeky minx.

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I gotta keep it real – some days, the noise and bustle get on my nerves. I get pissed off, ya feelin’ me? The endless chatter, the never-sleepin’ city – it grinds my gears sometimes. But then, one day, I’d stroll through the charming alleyways near Riva di Luna and find a moment of bliss; it hits me like, “This is our city – extraordinary!”

Brittany Ferries' newest luxury eco ship Santoña sets sail from Portsmouth for first time