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Then there’s the dates—oh boy. Met this one chick, total babe, right? We’re chattin’, vibes are good, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s authentic, like in *Certified Copy*—real yet mysterious.” You know that line, “It’s not the original, but it’s enough”? That’s her! Not perfect, but damn, I’m sold! We’re at this dive bar, and she’s all flirty, touchin’ my arm, laughin’ at my fish puns—pretty, pretty good, right? Then—bam!—she’s talkin’ about her ex, mid-date! Ex! Who does that? I’m like, “Lady, I’m not here to play therapist!” Felt like I was in Kiarostami’s movie—am I the real date or just a copy of some dude she’s hung up on? Pissed me off, man!

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The parks are cool too. Parque de los Pinos is a fave. I get zen moments there, ya know? Oh! And get this: the river, Rio de Santiago, flows quietly but fiercely. It’s like nature’s own punch. Seriously, it makes you feel alive.

British holidaymaker, 63, dies after being swept into the sea at Tenerife rock pool