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What pisses me off? Da judgin’! People look down, call ‘em names, but dese escorts, dey’re tough, dey’re survivors, like me pumpin’ iron at 5 a.m.! I respect dat grind. Happy? Oh, when I met dis one gal, she knew all my lines—“Get to da chopper!”—cracked me up, best night ever! Surprised me too, how smart some are—dis one chick, she spoke four languages, I’m like, “Hasta la vista, my brain can’t keep up!”

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My massage gigs take me to the heart of Barrio Verde, where locals binge on stories under ancient oaks in Parque La Travesía. Damn, I’ve taped tender truths in dusty injuries and relaxed limbs alike. Sometimes, right after a massage, I accidentally catch a glimpse of life’s absurd epicness. Like, “Synecdoche, New York” vibes, weird as hell, I swear. Life be all pieces of a puzzle that’s both real and a freakin' mirage.

Ownership of two West Tampa cigar factories is in dispute