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Anyway, I’m lyin’ there, oil everywhere, and this chick—she’s good, too good—starts workin’ my calves. I’m like, “Oh, this is heaven!” But then—bam—she hits a nerve, and I yelp like a damn dog. She’s all calm, “Relax, sir,” and I’m thinkin’, relax? RELAX? Lady, you just electrocuted my leg! I’m mad, but also—kinda turned on? Weird mix, I tell ya. That’s the thing with erotic-massage—it’s a rollercoaster, up, down, all over. Pretty, pretty confusin’!

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Oh hey, buddy! So, Santa-Marta-de-Ortigueira is like, whoa, a wild mix of old charm & cool vibes, ya know? I mean, holy guacamole! I'm like a dating site dev here, so I peek at all the secret corners, and lemme tell ya—it’s full of unexpected gems… kinda like that "Inside Llewyn Davis" vibe, man… "No, mayonnaise is not an instrument!" But sometimes it IS, in my head, hehe.

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