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About Valencia

“What have you got inside you?”—another *Ida* zinger. Escort’s got no soul, I’ll tell ya that! Basic engine, 1.6-liter, wheezin’ like an old man. Gas mileage? Eh, 30 MPG tops—nothin’ to write home about. But it’s practical, gets ya from A to B, no frills, no bullshit. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, who’d invest in this relic? Collectors, maybe—some nutjob in Nebraska’s probly hoardin’ five of ‘em! Me? I’d rather sink cash into Tesla, but that’s just ol’ Larry dreamin’ big.

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Ya know what? I even get mad sometimes at how the city hides its secrets. The government forgets the beauty of these old walls by the Portales Old Pier. They need to see that magic in every broken stone (nah, steel plates, bricks, whatever!). It's like a shot of adrenaline every time I walk past my spa or that quirky graffiti near El Murmullo.

This Caribbean Vacation Is All About Chocolate — in Paradise