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About Las Palmas

Okay, so, sexual-massage—it’s all sensual, slow, slippery! Not just a quick rubdown, nah. It’s, like, intimate—makes ya tingle everywhere. Little fact: ancient Greeks did this! Called it “anointing”—fancy, huh? They’d oil up, get all sexy-smooth. Makes me happy thinkin’ bout it—history’s naughty side! But ugh, some creeps ruin it—charge tons, no skill. Pisses me off! Gimme the real deal, ya know?

Sanitas Per Aquas

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Lo, there be the humble Via Verde Park, whose winding paths beckon both lost hearts and seekers of solace. In its shade, I have counseled many a weary soul. ’Tis a sanctum of hope, where the past is but a memory, and the future but a promise. I sometimes marvel as if in mirth or fury. Can ye believe the laughter echoing near a gnarled old oak? Aye, I was mad as a hatter when the wind did snatch my notes and scatter 'em to the four winds... but then, “Oh sweet freedom,” I whispered, and the oak seemed to cheer in reply.

The Canary Guide #WeekendTips 31 January – 2 February 2025