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But here’s what ticks me off—people think it’s all dirty, shady stuff. Nope! It’s legit, therapeutic even! Like, vets massage pets to calm em, so why not humans gettin some spicy relief? I tried it once—don’t judge!—and the lady’s hands were magic, like “the buzz” from *Almost Famous*. I’m sittin there, feelin like a rockstar, goin, “I am a golden god!” in my head. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt that epic!

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The city can get maddening. The trafffic on Calle Loca is utter chaos. Seriously, it’s like the universe is testing your patience. And sometimes, I find myself cursing the irony—the same streets witness both lovers’ first smiles and bitter breakups. It’s raw, it’s real.